I'm back: Still me but wiser

If I could tell you how I'm doing right now just by showing one picture, I'd pick this one. I know I have shoved my web space into the corner for too long but my blog being on hiatus for a couple of months have good reasons. First of all, finishing the second to the last semester of my college life wasn't a walk in the park. I couldn't steal free time to relax for a minute, I couldn't catch up with the new episodes of Modern Family, or even get a moment to write something on my blog. 

My thesis class was a pain in the head, there was a stage play that needed to be performed, a variety show (where I humiliated myself by dancing), and major exams that I needed to pass. 

They all caused pain but along with the hardships, I must say that I filled my bag with so many lessons worth-keeping.

Be mindful of the present

A busy day means a busy mind and body and sometimes when our hands get too occupied, we lose our sense of the present and by losing our sense of the present, I also meant we tend to detach our minds with the valuable things we have.

Let me give my cell phone as a good example. The phone that I have landed into my hands because of the hard work I did last summer. I busted my brain out writing articles about hotels, apartments, lawn mowers, kitchen appliances, make-up, and some other stuff I wasn't even familiar with in order to earn money for a new phone. And the satisfaction I got from being able to by the phone was priceless. I didn't buy it for someone else to take advantage of. Unfortunately, someone did take advantage of it. 

It was during a presentation in one of my classes that my phone was stolen. I had this habit of losing my peace of mind whenever my nerves become unruly. When it was stolen by another student, my friends and I tried to get the phone back on the same day the phone was stolen but we never did. The presentation was a success and yes I was happy about that but it wasn't the cure for what I was feeling at the moment when I finally convinced myself that I'd never get my phone back.

After a few days with the help of a friend and a professor of mine, we were able to track the culprit. I was able to retrieve my phone. I complained about the phone settings being changed but hey, at the end of the day, I've never been so thankful in my life. What's the lesson here ladies and gentlemen? Don't buy a nice phone. Stick with the classic phones if you can. Thieves don't like them, they like the more sophisticated ones. Just kidding. The real lesson here is do the best you can to be mindful of the present (got it from Yoda). Don't get swallowed by pressure and your nerves, enjoy every second that passes you by, and guard your possessions wherever you are.

There's great power in optimism

People have different sources of optimism. As for me, my optimism comes from my faith in God and my belief in the law of attraction. I have proven that with a big faith in God and in myself, there's no mountain too tall to be conquered. There were moments in the last semester that I thought the curtains were finally going to fall down on me but they didn't. I don't know how all things turned out well in the end because everything seemed to crash down on me all at once. All I know is that I kept the faith and I kept moving forward. I tried to enjoy the journey as well. I didn't want to let each day pass by while all the pain and stress eat my happiness away. I still wanted to enjoy my life like what every human being should.

Time management does help

I know time management has been advised by a lot of successful people and I've tried it the first time I heard about it. I didn't really get into the flow the first time. I still remained scattered and disorganized after a few weeks of carrying a planner with me. It took a little bit of getting used-to but when I got a hang of it, it really paid off. I was able to do more productive things, I was able to remind myself of important things to do, and I was able to make use of my time wisely. Although I'm still not a perfect time manager. There are times when my planner would have several unwritten pages because I didn't write down any tasks I have to do. Yeah, I think it's alright to be lazy sometimes.

I swear, I felt like I've learned a lot after finishing a grueling semester. Looking back at what I've written so far, apparently, I've only learned three. Well, it's better to learn something than nothing, right?

Alright, I'll try remember some and I'll get back to you soon once I get them all together. For now, enjoy life.  Peace!!!!!

A Journey Home: A travel to your inner most emotions

It was history turning the same pages once again while I hustled my way out of the house. I could see the traffic getting heavier every step I got closer to the tricycle terminal. A deep sigh of relief was let out of my body while passengers quickly occupied the seats. It only meant my travel time would be decreased by a number of minutes. While the tricycle traversed the same old paths, I assumed the same old motions of an ordinary day. However, I always pray for an extra-ordinary day. You know what they say about the difference between extra-ordinary and ordinary? It’s that little extra and that little extra was given by Mr. Makoy that day. He let us watched this film entitled A Journey Home, a movie about forgiveness, faith, love, and God.

It’s one of the few movies that I could pretty much relate. There are movies that make you laugh, pee your pants and there are movies that simply make you cry. The movie revolves around a father who abandoned his family and came back after 20 years. He saw his wife passed away on a newspaper because of a stage 4 cancer and decided to visit her wake. His son Raffy and Raffy’s wife Gayle including his daughter were there. To cut the entire story short, Raffy was keeping a tremendous amount of anger to his father and couldn’t find a space in his heart to forgive him.

I could relate to Raffy because my father also abandoned me when I was young. At that time, I didn’t quite understand why such things had to take place. Growing up, my cluelessness gradually faded while I found my way to a deeper understanding of how life works. However, while I tried to find the reasons for my existence, I never found the reason to forgive my dad. I couldn’t recall any gesture or action from him that made me feel like he had truly loved me even for once as his son. The bitterness grew even more whenever I was reminded of his decision to abandon us like pieces of garbage; worthless and lifeless. I have so many questions to ask him, questions that I still haven’t asked until now.

I feel like, the longer these questions are left unanswered, the deeper the anger I feel. When I decided to cut my communication with him, I vowed that I would never be like my father. I would do the best I can to be a man that he never was. I swore that I would never commit the same mistakes he did. These declarations I held were blanketed with such anger and bitterness.

Just like Raffy from the movie, I tried forgiving my father but it was never a walk in the park. Just like Raffy, it’s very difficult to find the strength to say, “Hey Dad, I forgive you. I forgive you for all the mistakes you’ve done to me and to my Mom”. I knew I could say it but I could not mean it. I could say the words but they could only come from my mouth, not from my heart. I finished my elementary years, my high school years, and now that I’m about to finish college, there’s still something that’s holding me back from moving on. Well, not until I saw this movie.

The movie reminded me that it’s hard to realize that you have someone until you have already lost that someone. The movie taught me that God is not just good; he’s not just great; but his overly and extremely awesome in so many ways. I realized that God has never been absent during those hard times my family and I had to go through when my father left us. I figured that God had always been there all along, watching every reaction I made, feeling every emotion I felt, and understanding every words I prayed. While he watched me carry those burdens, he was already planning great things for me. God has always been invisible to me but his words clearly paint a picture of who he is and how much love he has for me.

Another important lesson I’ve learned from the movie is, “Most of the time, forgiveness is hard to give but it has never been and will never be impossible when you ask a little help from God.” Once forgiveness is done, healing follows.

Another realization that hit me after watching the movie is that God is very forgiving and understanding. He never looks at your bad side and only looks at your good side. He always gives chances for those who are willing to change and for those who are willing to accept him in his life.

I bet there are a lot of you out there who are still having a hard time to forgive; you don’t have to force yourself to immediately forget the short-comings of that person. You don’t have to fake it. You don’t have to say the words and not mean it in your heart. Just like love, forgiveness also takes time but we should also remember that we need to have an open mind and an open heart to give way for forgiveness. We should learn how to get rid of the anger and the seed of bitterness in our hearts to successfully move on. I know it’s easier said than done that’s why if you find it hard to do, you can always count on God for help and I promise you, you’ll never go wrong.

Photo from: www.thepastimeshelf.com

I was a clown

"So I'll be your clown, behind the glass  Go ahead and laugh cause it's funny  I would too if I saw me
  I'll be your clown   on your favorite channel  My life's a circus-circus  rounding circles  I'm selling out tonight" 
                                            - Emeli Sande

Photo from: igabo.deviantart.com

     A few hours had already passed and I got exhausted scouring the corners of my mind trying to get rid of anything that's preventing me from thinking straight. For some reason, I just couldn't find an inspiration to write. You see, I wanted to write a comeback-post. If you would notice, it's been a while since I wrote about something and to tell you the truth, blogging is one of the few things that keep me away from rotting in boredom. Besides, it's the perfect time to get back to blogging. Second semester's finally over and summer has already made it's presence felt. Then, just when I was about to give up thinking, I remembered the song "Clown" by Emeli Sande that was playing on TV a couple of days ago. 
     It is a black and white music video that has such a bleak and depressing look to it. After hearing the song, I immediately watched the video again on YouTube and found out what the song really means. Straight from Emeli Sande, the song means that we should not allow people to judge us and we should not allow anyone to treat us like we're idiots.
     I was a clown before. I was a clown without even trying hard to be one. I was a clown even if I didn't want to be one. Growing up, I must say that I wasn't raised in an environment where people liked me for who I am. I didn't grow up with rich parents. I didn't go to an expensive school. I didn't have all the fancy toys I desperately longed to have as a kid. Once, my family moved from one place to another which I thought would make things better but it was otherwise. People became worse than ever. From the way they darted their eyes on us, I knew we were being judged. Sometimes, I felt like they were disgusted just by going near us. I was humiliated deep within. I wished I could fly away and find no reasons to come back. However, it was reality that always knocked me down to the ground. 
     As much as I wanted to protect myself and my family, I couldn't. I shouldn't because I knew I wasn't in my place to do so. One wrong move and we would find ourselves living in the gutter. So I let the name-callings roll by like they were complements. I let the puppet strings control me and didn't bother to put the clown mask off. I allowed them to treat us like we're idiots, like we're clowns. There were nights that I would stare up in the starry sky and wish I was rich just so the people we were living with would stop all the fighting and name-calling. The next day, I would wake up with things getting worse. In the middle of this war, I would ask myself when would all this end? When would people be nice to each other? but I never got the answer I wanted. However, I continued to live my life the way I should.
     However, if I didn't go through such a hellish ordeal then I wouldn't know how to remove the clown mask off my face. Now I know that there is always time for redemption. There are ways to save yourself from drowning in the river where people threw you into. I guess what I am just trying to say is that people can hurt you. People can call you whatever names they want to call you but what people say about you doesn't matter.  What you think of yourself is what can get you far. What you decide to be for yourself is what will save you from drowning. I am just glad that I had high-tolerance to insults and mindless intimidation or I would still be crying until now. 
     What I did to survive in an environment filled with mean and difficult people? It took a lot of getting-used-to but all I did was simply ignore. I ignored all the negative things, I focused on my studies, I focused on having fun without disturbing anyone's peace. Somehow, I managed to adapt myself in the environment but of course there were moments when I was already getting sick of all the crazy antics going on. Despite of it, I endured.
     In a nutshell, what I am trying to send across is that don't allow people to make you a clown and force you to do stuff that makes you feel bad about yourself. Always know your place before you make a stand. If you know you're not in your place then you better shut your mouth because you don't want to be like them. Just give your very best to ignore them and focus on the most important things in your life. Life is too short for you to waste your energy on people who do nothing but judge other people. 

What makes you happy?

What makes a person happy? Will a box of chocolates do? Or a nice and a minute-long bear hug perhaps? We might have noticed that the longer we live here on earth, the more we seek for reasons to be happy, the more we yearn to get a hand on things that we believe will unlock the door to an infinite bliss. When we were kids, an action figure of our favorite superhero would send us jumping for joy, or a battery-operated toy car that runs on its own in just a press of a button would make us smiling from ear to ear. However, now that we’re all grown-ups, the way we used to look at the world changed. The ways we define happiness is no longer through an acquisition of a piece of toy with plastic wheels or a quick game of hide and seek with kids we don’t know. I used to define happiness as something tangible, something that I ask for and something that I wait to take place before my eyes. However, there’s something that happened during one seemingly ordinary day that made me realized that gaining happiness may not be as difficult as climbing a mountain. Sometimes, all it takes is to see what seems to be the unseen and feel what everybody doesn't seem to feel.

I was minutes away from ending the same old exhausting day from work. I was a Customer Service Representative back then and dealing with customer queries through email was my main job. I was sitting on my favorite chair that could do almost anything for my entertainment. It could spin me around endlessly and its ability to adjust its height would make it an instant elevator-like contraption. It was me and that chair that keeps my sanity in tack in my work place every day. While I was looking for the right words to put on the email I got from a guy somewhere in New York, I looked around and saw the same old tableau of thrilled employees, itching to go home. Ken, who usually positions himself so low that his butt was almost off the edge of his chair, was sitting up straight with his feet nailed on the ground. Rochelle, who was sitting next to Ken, had her bottled water hugged by her left arm and Glai who prefers to spend her eight hour shift with both her feet raised off the ground, was already on her feet. Then there I was, racing against time and trying to answer the last email I received before the clock strikes four. Before I knew it, it was passed 4 but it was a good thing that what I only had to do at that time was click send and I was ready to go. I made my way to my locker and I was walking like I had shackles around my feet. I was so tired that I could ever think of was my bed. I put on my blue jacket, got my bag on and went out straight to the jeep terminal.

I got off to Guadalupe where I would ride a bus to Paranaque. I like how the Guadalupe market looks like at around 4 in the morning. There are not too many sidewalk vendors, not too many people and despite the fishy stench of the wind that caresses my face, for some reason, it makes me happy. No, it wasn’t the foul stench of the wind in Guadalupe that shifted my definition of happiness. It was that guy I saw near a footbridge that made me stop my briskly walking. He was an old man, somewhere around his 60’s I guess, based on the apparent wrinkles highlighted by the streetlights of Guadalupe. He was wearing sun glasses. Now, who would wear sun glasses at around 4:30 in the morning when the sun rays hasn't even reached the horizon yet? Then I examined him and noticed that his right hand was holding a long gray stick. He was moving the stick in front of him, looking like he was checking anything that would cause him to trip. He was moving as slow as a mollusk that everybody walking from behind would overtake him while avoiding the stick that was swaying from right to left and vice versa in a rhythmic sort of way. I knew right then and there that he was a blind man, walking along the sidewalk of Guadalupe at 4:30 in the morning without anybody guiding his way. 

             For a couple of minutes, I stood still from where I was and observed the next events that unfolded before me. It was sad that nobody even cared to offer a hand to this poor old man. I felt nothing but pure pity. Does he have any relatives or friends maybe who would bother to accompany him at that time of the day? Why is he travelling alone? And why would anyone let him do such trouble-causing risk? With questions left unanswered, I approached the old man and with the nicest tone I could ever make, I asked him, “Hi sir, where are you heading?”. He stopped from walking and uttered an unfamiliar place. I didn't know how to get there but still I offered my hand and told him that I would take him there. I held his left hand and put it on my left shoulder and we started walking. I was clueless of where to go next but I thought of asking directions from a barker near us. The barker gave us clear directions and we went ahead and immediately followed it. While we were traversing the paths mentioned by the barker, the old blind man would occasionally trip and I had to look at him every time he would, to check if he was okay. I had this concern for him and that if anything happened to him, I felt like I would be the only one to blame. We started talking about me and what I do and then I asked him the questions I had in my head but I could no longer remember his answers. 

        However, what I could vividly remember is that I advised him to never get out of the house without any company. I told him that it’s dangerous for a blind man to walk around dark streets and I suggested that if in case he needed to, he should make sure he has someone to be with. I knew for sure that I sounded like I was his father and he would just say yes like he was my son. We finally got to the jeep terminal where he needed to take a ride. I wished I could be with him until he got to where he needed to go just to make sure he’s safe. I talked to the driver instead and told him that the old man was blind and he should make sure that his travel would be safe. I bid one more goodbye to the nice old man and told him to take care always. He said thanks and gave me a tap on my shoulder. The jeep sped away and I remained still until I could no longer see the jeep that he rode onto. 

         I walked back to where I was supposed to go but at that time, I wasn’t rushing anymore. I was walking slowly while trying to reminisce what I did. I felt this distinct happiness that I’ve never felt before in my life. It wasn’t the happiness I get when someone gives me a box of chocolates and it wasn’t the happiness I feel when someone gives me a hug. It was a unique happiness that I got when I acted on a situation where everybody pretended to be numb and blind. I chose to see when everybody chose to look away and chose to feel when everybody decided to ignore. I think that’s who I am as a person. I choose to be kind to people because I believe that it’s one of the easiest way to be the happiest man on earth. Adele’s album can’t be appreciated by a deaf or a collection of the Twilight Saga DVD can’t be appreciated by the blind but giving up your time and effort can be appreciated by anyone. Mark Twain, a prominent American author and humorist said it perfectly, “Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

Photo from: jedijessicuh.hubpages.com

When a stranger speaks

realityinfringement.wordpress.com

       It was an ordinary day. The sun was slowly creeping behind the horizon and the morning air was wearing the same old scent, reminding me of a brand new journey waiting ahead. As much as I wanted to jumpstart my day with positive thoughts, I couldn't stop myself from thinking too much about a particular class I had to attend to that day. I was excited but nervous at the same time. All I could think of was that class. Worst case scenarios kept playing in and out of my head that I couldn't manage to control. Alicia Keys’ Not Even the King is playing in my IPod. I tried to enjoy the emptiness in the tricycle that I was in, before I get squeezed by another passenger who has bigger thighs than mine. Before I knew it, passengers began to come and started to fill up the empty seats of the tricycle. From a not so far distance, I saw a guy walking towards the tricycle and took the vacant seat in front. The tricycle we have in our place can carry six to seven people excluding the driver. Two to three can fit in front, two at the back and another two behind the driver’s seat. The other spaces were already occupied except that one remaining seat in front and so the guy took that seat beside me. He was an ordinary guy, wearing a white printed shirt with black pants. He’s probably around his 30s based on the wrinkles on his face. The tricycle sped away from the terminal and the cold breeze of the wind brushed against my face. It made me sleepy but the worries of the day kept me awake. In the middle of a 15 minute travel, he gave me a magazine-like reading material, the title went something like ‘Kapag Namatay ang Iyong Minamahal’ (‘When a loved one passed away’).

            For the next few minutes of that unforeseen encounter with a stranger, all I thought about the situation was odd. A stranger suddenly striking up a conversation with me and handing me a magazine talking about how people should cope with loss and all that stuff, everything seemed so creepy to me. I mean, I don’t see nothing wrong talking to someone you don’t know, for as long as nothing happens that go beyond your comfort zone. I guess I’m just not used to strangers talking to me and discussing about profound things in life. I wouldn't have felt uncomfortable if he asked about the weather, how the Kardashians are keeping up with their own life or how many more territories can China claim. We would've talked endlessly. His name is Wilson by the way. After introducing himself and the magazine to me, he followed it up with a talk about God and how things seen by the naked eye can disappear with a simple snap of a finger by God. He made a speech about how people should not keep treasures here on earth and start living in the name of God. He talked about why he didn't believe the Mayans’ predictions about the end of the world and he believes in what is written in the Bible about how the world will really end. I was already aware of some of the things he said and so I would occasionally nod every time something sounded familiar just to show him that I was paying attention. I took my earphones off my ears and let the music play without turning it off. Even if I wanted to turn it off, I couldn’t reach in my pocket. He was a big guy and he was unintentionally pushing me against the side of the tricycle. I had some questions in mind that I wanted to ask him but just as I thought it was my turn to speak, we just reached our destination. He quickly said goodbye and reminded me to read the magazine he gave me. I said goodbye and walked away briskly. I took a look at the cover of the magazine one more time while walking without actually looking where I was going and suddenly developed an interest about its contents. I held it until I got on the bus and began reading.

            

           I really don’t think about death that much or at least I don’t prefer to talk about it. Probably because I’m still scared of the fact that your life can be put to a permanent halt, leaving you clueless of what could be the next chapter, or it makes you wonder if there is even a next chapter if your time on earth has come. I guess, instead of thinking about the possibilities of what could be on the other side of life, I just try to live each and every day while being grateful of the air I breathe, the things I see, the emotions I feel, the challenges I face and the life that I get to live. Whenever we open our eyes to a new day, normally, what we would think about first are the mundane things we need to do and sometimes we get stuck by all this earthly activities that we tend to forget what it really means to live. With that note, I do believe that no matter how odd some parts of our life could be, we just need to look at them in a different way, in a way that could positively affect our outlook in life. Through that I guess, it would serve as a wake-up call and remind us about what it really means to live the life that we have. Having said that, I also believe in one of the most famous sayings that everything happens for a reason and meeting that Wilson guy wasn't a coincidence but a plan of God who simply wanted to remind me about life and how I should live it. 

I am braver now

     It's been almost a month since my last post.  Apparently, school has once again took over my entire life that blogging seemed to have been out of reach but I'm glad I have time now. 

    Semestral break came in a week ago but I can't believe I wrote a post just today. The coming of my tireless and sugar-driven 2 year old nephew who storms into my room without permission should take half of the blame. But then again, a child is a child or should I say, a high-powered child is a high-powered child and we can't do anything about it but to let them be. Unless, we lock them up inside a highly-secured facility with contraptions that can suck the fun out of a child's body. 

      Anyway, let me tell you, it was a rocky semester for me and by rocky I mean, there were really a lot of stumbles that happened to me but of course, I didn't stay on the ground for long. One bad thing about falling is you taste how bitter the ground is but the good thing about having dirt rub against your tongue is the fact that it makes you want to avoid the reason why you fell in the first place once you get back up. Or, you may have just learned that the next time you fall, just don't open your mouth.  

     As you go further in life, the deeper you know yourself and you become more confident in the decisions you make in life regardless of how wrong or right your decision may seem. 

    Remember that day when you were a child, the very first time you slid down on a slide. Probably the one in a playground or the one in the public swimming pool. There were a lot of things going on inside your head or in your stomach. You were thinking of possible consequences of what might happen once you slide down. If you were around three to four years old, you might not be thinking of possible effects of your action that you might regret in the future, but somewhere in the corner of that particular situation, you knew that you felt fear; fear was so close to your face you thought you could touch it. 

     Despite the army of fear trying to take over your whole body, you closed your eyes and still slid down. By the moment you touched the ground, the fear that was once trying to boss you around on top of that slide, somehow found its way out of you. All of a sudden, excitement stung you in the butt and you wanted to do it again. You decided to do it over and over again. You decided to climb up the slide without apprehensions. You decided to slide down without knowing that you wiped out all the dirt off the slide. You decided to slide down fearless of how your Mom will react once she saw your filthy white shorts.  You decided to slide down without your slippers on and forgetting how much your Mom hates it when you play barefoot. 

     Every day we make decisions in our lives whether you're a kid, a teenager, a young adult or an adult. Sometimes, we stink at making good decisions and sometimes we're not.

    What I've learned about myself from this past semester is that I have become more courageous making decisions for myself. I used to have fear behind every decision I make. I used to have so many apprehensions. I used to fear going down that slide. For some reason, I have more courage now. At the back of my mind, consequences are waiting on the other end  that used to scare me but I am less worried now as compared to who I was before. I still made some bad calls and I felt bad about them but not as bad as before. 

      I felt I have grown so much, not just physically but emotionally, mentally and spiritually and I feel great because of that. It just goes to show how ready I am of facing whatever awaits me in the future. I may not be the best decision-maker in the world and my decisions may still cause me to fall on the ground with my mouth open and once again, taste how bitter the ground is but it doesn't mean I can't decide to get back up and continue moving forward.

       It's my life and it's my call.

The Telephone

The rain was soaking up the dried up land that one breezy morning.

I was convinced that I needed more time to stay on my bed based on how slow it took for me to put on my slippers. I decided to sit, hoping it would shake off the heaviness in my head. My eyes were still closed and the infinite darkness that appeared to be so hypnotizing intensified my craving for more sleep. I was ready to fall back any time but I guess, the thought of school responsibilities might have hindered me to be cozy with my pillow again.

Sometimes, I just don't understand my decision-making skills. I choose to stay up until midnight and enjoy late night television shows, regret the decision the morning after and promise myself not do it again. The next thing I know, I find myself munching a snack I found in the fridge at 10 in the evening while watching the Ellen DeGeneres Show in my room.  

Anyway, going back to that day, I realized that the faster the rain drops fell, the slower my movements became. I forced my body to get up and lazily motioned my way to my bedroom door. 

Even turning the door knob seemed so difficult that time. 

I made my way to the kitchen table to make myself a hot cup of coffee. There was my mom, who probably woke up an hour earlier than me (as usual).

Morning conversations with my mom usually starts by my initiative to ask the time she slept and the the time she woke up or whether Dad's going to go to work or not and that's probably it.

Sometimes she would talk about my youngest sister or our friendly neighbor or anything she thought of discussing about. Other times, it's just a silent morning for the next couple of hours.

However, the silence that I assumed would blanket the rest of my morning disappeared.

I was sitting by the window in the dining table, staring at the farthest distance my eyes could take me when our home phone suddenly made a loud beep accompanied by a scratching sound. The sound interfering the beep was similar to an old school radio when you try to change station. And there's one more thing, while the phone was irregularly beeping, which it doesn't normally do, the red light was turned on. 

What made things more far-out is that the red light only turns on when somebody's using the phone and clearly, nobody was using the phone at that time.

I looked at our phone right away baffled by the perplexing tone coming from it. Somehow, it reminded me of the recorder paranormal experts use when they try to communicate with unseen ghosts.  The sound lasted for a few seconds before it gave way to a creepy kind of silence that masked not only our house but also both my Mom and I's faces.

We both looked at each other in the eyes trying to put the puzzle pieces together. I knew what my Mom was thinking however, I didn't want to jump to conclusions right away and still tried to make logical judgement as to what might have caused the phone to make such a scary sound.

First of all, it wasn't an incoming call because if it was then it would've made a ringing sound instead (of course). Mom added that if it was a call then it shouldn't have produced any sound since the phone was on mute. 

I tried calling the phone using my Mom's cell phone and indeed, it didn't make a sound. I checked the bottom side of the phone where the mute switch is located and that made me more convinced that something out of the norm just happened. The phone was really on mute.

There are two ways to turn the red light of the phone on, either you lift the handset up or you press the loudspeaker button. 

Nobody was there to lift it up or else my Mom and I would've seen it. On the same note, nobody was there to press the loud speaker button. My dad and my youngest sister were still asleep at that time.

I was thinking, maybe, the telephone company was just trying to pull a prank. With that thought in mind, it made me think that maybe, they have a way of making weird phone noises or switching the red light of the phone on without having to lift the handset or pressing the loudspeaker button that will make people think that it's the cause of some sort of paranormal entity.

Or maybe, just maybe, there was really something who played with the phone.

I guess, I'll never know unless someone can enlighten me and explain how that strange incident happened.

I do believe in ghosts and I also believe they roam around in the world of the living despite the fact that I haven't actually seen one. 

Nevertheless, I do want to stick with possible logical or scientific explanations to these kinds of incidents.

For now, I am still floating around the universe with these questions in mind.

How did the phone make that long and loud beep with a scratching sound? 

How did the red light turn on without the handset being lifted up or the loudspeaker button being pressed?

Summer hopes

It was only a few weeks ago when I was too occupied in figuring out whether a concave mirror produces a real image or a virtual image as a preparation for a quiz in my Physics class.  Before I knew it, I was already imagining myself sprawling on a beach sand while the firmament of the earth makes way to the irrepressible rays of the molting sun. I was holding a fruit smoothie in my hand, unmindful of the heat penetrating the umbrella that's shielding me from the merciless domination of the sun's blaze on my skin. 

I looked around with sun glasses before my eyes, dimming the surroundings up for me and the people were just having the summer of their lives. After a few minutes of hallucinating, I found myself back in reality and  there you go, homeworks and projects came before me. It was one of those moments when I wanted to shout out loud, 

"Curse you REALITY!!! Curse you!!!" 

With a deep sigh, I wished I could get back to that beach.

Anyway, school is over and summer has finally parked. I could tell by how fast the sun burns my skin whenever I go outside for a walk.

The only thing I hate about the summer season is how quick it makes me sweat like a pig.

Sometimes I feel like my skin is oozing slime that I get all sticky and gooey. I sweat so much I disgusts myself sometimes. Anyhow, let me end this sweat talk and tell you that if I could just afford an air-conditioning unit then I would've purchased a couple and used them the whole day every day if that is what it takes for me to feel cooler. 

On the other hand, that's not how I should treat the environment, should I? And since I am still living with my parents, that's not how I should give back to them right? Those who have lived with their parents and who are still living with theirs in the present, I believe I don't have to explain myself any further, you know exactly what I mean.

Moving on, other than increasing my sweating rate, I like every bit of the summer season and it never fails to get me fired up for some fun and relaxing activities with my family and friends.

That was before my excitement was cut short. One day my Mom told me that we don't have anything planned out this summer which means I have to stay at home for two months basically do nothing at all.

My ideal summer season has now turned into a do-nothing season.

NO BEACH.

NO SAND.

NO SMOOTHIE.

Well, looking at the brighter side, I wouldn't let this road block get in the way of me getting the best summer ever. I may not have the chance to go to the beach but I guess I am quite creative enough to make this a fun but productive summer.

First, it has always been an impossible dream of mine but this time I am going to make it possible.

I want to lose weight. I want to be fitter, a little bit thinner and most importantly healthier.

Who doesn't want to be fit and healthy??? The last time I looked good physically is when I was in 6th grade and ever since then, I have always been fat. The moment I stepped into high school, I have witnessed the gradual increase of my weight and before I knew it, I was a completely different person. Whenever I see former school mates and classmates, I suddenly turn into a psychic because I know what they have in mind and I know what they want to say about me and my luggage. 

Although some people think I look fine and my body size is normal but my BMI says otherwise. I have been over-weight for years and I want to change myself for the better. 

Second, I want to be able to finish reading the books I bought. I had no time reading them because of too many school obligations but now, I have all the time in the world to enjoy reading.

Third, to blog more and to increase my readers and followers. I have always enjoyed writing and it always sends a smile on my face whenever I see people from all parts of the world following my blog and appreciating my work.

These are a few of my summer goals and I have my fingers-crossed that I will be able to achieve all of them.

I know I will. 

I just know.