Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The fat boy who cried

I made my way to the faculty room with a sense that the imaginary emotional fat boy living in the depths of my soul would once again be moved. I hesitantly took my seat and readied myself for an unsolicited confrontation. I was at a loss for words. Composing myself has never been so difficult and for the very first time in my life, I felt like I ran out of something to say. I wanted to speed away and stay forever in hiding. However, I was left with no choice at all but to face the ordeal.

"Are you okay?", he said softly. 

"No, I'm not", I said nonchalantly while nailing my eyes to the farthest place it could be.

Before I knew it, tears were dripping down my cheeks and an army of words was just fighting over which one should come out of my mouth first. Adding injury caused by a perplexing public humiliation, I had to verbally explain myself about how I've been acting for the passed several days with reasons I preferred to have been signed and sealed by me and exclusively contained for my eyes only. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and the worst case scenario slowly fell upon me like a building construction debris. 

Most probably, some of you are scratching your heads right now and perhaps wondering what exactly happened to me that day and what kind of ordeal I had to go through. Maybe a few of you, might have been one of those who happened to pass by and witnessed the whole 30 second circus show. Either way, the purpose of this particular post is not to narrate a story but to let you know that, first, I am an overly-dramatic and bucket-of-tears producing  kind of guy, who chooses to drive away tear causing confrontations in public as much as possible.

Why? Simply because it's embarrassing and no matter how hard I try to keep my head together, I just can't. It would be alright if I find myself alone where nobody's there to judge me.

For most of the guys, it may appear embarrassing to admit how glued we are with our emotional side because we've always been so conscious about our image and how manly we are in the eyes of other people but I believe that some people are really born to be overly emotional about many things regardless if you're a guy or a lady. Some of us are so emotional that a broken toe nail of a dog would send us down to our knees and beg for a miracle of an immediate toe nail growth for our dog. 

If you see someone who actually does this or who already did, then just assume that he's auditioning for a role in a play that requires him to be extremely hysterical about a dog's broken toe nail or he's just simply starting to lose his sanity for some unknown reason.

Where am I going with this? It's funny you ask because I don't know either.

No, I'm just kidding.

I decided not to narrate the incident because I am trying to protect the people who were actually involved. Recalling the story wouldn't solve anything and may probably branch out to bigger problems that I don't want to happen and it brings back all the emotions I felt, mostly were negative emotions. I've had enough of those and I need some peace of mind right now while trying to juggle a whole lot of responsibilities.

And there's one more thing I want to say before I go. Sometimes, we get used to doing some things in our every day life that without our knowledge, it has already become part of who we are whether it's a positive thing or a negative thing. Before we know it, it's already affecting the people around us. How we treat people is a matter of choice, a choice to be sensitive or not and a choice to be respectful or not. 

Let's just say, a person commits a mistake or maybe a myriad of mistakes, talking to him nicely and calmly may not work because he may probably assume that it doesn't matter to you whatever output he gives out.

What if you talk to him the other way around? Rudely and disrespectfully. The person may probably go crazy, lose his drive and eventually give up.

How about if you talk to him, honestly? tell him all the wrong things he did, be as brutally frank as you can to awaken him from his long wandering dream but with respect and consideration.

All I'm trying to say is we just need to be aware of what we say and how we say things to the people that we meet because every person we encounter, is a person fighting for a battle and being a little nicer can help him win that battle.

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