Friday, December 25, 2009


A post I should've written a long time ago.

It has been believed by a lot, that a person has the right to say whatever he feels towards someone or something. Because of this given right, we learned to judge the people around us.

We judge the person sitting right next to us on a bus. We judge that lady in our neighborhood who lives alone in her house for years. We judge the people we see on TV and we tell them how they should live their lives, how skinny they should be for you to complement them with the word "beautiful". We judge someone by simply liking something that most members of the society don't like. We judge someone by where he comes from or by the color of his skin. We mostly judge people even if we hardly know them. We judge them by what our eyes see but we know to ourselves that our eyes can't see through the life of a person.

Yeah I know, this has been an issue for so long and you think that nothing can end the issue by simply writing a post such as this.

I will no longer remind you that judging a person positively or negatively is bad. Actually, you can judge me right now and tell me how sick and stupid this post is, that is if you want to. Yes, you've read that right, you don't have to go back to that part again.

Because I'm sure of one thing, I have done something great for myself and for others because I was able to speak in behalf of those people who still haven't gotten the voice to speak out. I was brave enough to be honest and loud and I know that nobody even gives their time to read any of my posts right now but I believe that I have written something that others will come across someday. Maybe not now, not tomorrow or the day after tomorrow but in the right time, I know it will happen.

I've been brutally judged by people because my country has been judged also.

People have layed all the offensive jokes they can say and I hope they received something beneficial out of that ruthless act.

I just don't get it, really. Someone would cross the line to get what?? Fame??? Money??? happiness??? a good laugh??? what???

I remember this stand up comedian being interviewed in an entertainment news show. He was asked if Conan O' Brian had crossed the line of making fun of this celebrity having weight issues. He was on the side of his co-comedian. He was asking what else can he do if that person was giving him something to make a joke about. He emphasized his job being a comedian and he had nothing else to do but make jokes out of people regardless of how hurtful it may turn out to the person he is pertaining to. Well, is he saying that when someone offers you a box of pizza and it just so happen that it's your favorite, you have no choice but to say "YES!"???? We're very much aware that we can always say no to any offer. It always depends on how we make our decision.

I have an answer for that "What else can I do???" question. Well, I tell you what you can do, you can hold your tongue back and find something else to joke about without hurting somebody else's feelings and since you are a very talented comedian you can still make jokes and make people laugh without crossing the line. I believe through that, your audience will increase in number and will be looking forward to your future antics.

Whew!My goodness, finally got that rock out of my lungs. It was making my breathing hard.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Into a conversation

  I just received a text from a friend. I’m not sure who he is but at this point I guess his name doesn't matter. He texted me about a conversation happened between Santa Claus and Jesus. Of course, I know that this conversation never really happened in real life. Someone just thought of making this up to convey a message like any other quotes we receive from a friend, trying to boost our confidence to live our life to the fullest, reminding us to live a positive life. However, its not like any other messages we receive from day to day. It's more than living life in the right way we can. This time it's not about us. 

 Santa greeted Jesus a happy birthday. Despite the happy greeting he received, Jesus replied a sad thank you with a sad smile along with it. Santa asked why, probably wondering Jesus's feeling despite a very important occasion. Jesus replied, “Coz everytime I celebrate my birthday, people would always look forward to you”.

 Yeah, this conversation never happened before and yeah! someone made the plot of the story and made sure it would fit the message he wanted to convey. It's a piece of cake to make stories such as this but the truth is, what Jesus replied back to Santa Claus happens in reality and it happens everytime. From all over the world people think that CHRISTMAS is all about Santa coming down from the chimney, finish off the cookie and milk on the table and leave a gift behind as he goes back up to the roof, take off and proceed to another house and do the same processs over and over again.

 Sadly, the true meaning of christmas is ignored. For the nth time, its our Savior Jesus Christ started this world-wide celebration in the first place. I hope, we all realize that.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Try to be a little kinder

"Kindness is treating others the way God treats you"

   Perhaps, a number of writers and speakers have already went through this particular instance where they considered explaining what kindness is. Even the people closest to us may have told us about how important it is to be kind to other people either to a member of a family, a friend or a stranger. Apparently, I'm adding this article to the chain that's been circling around the world telling people about kindness. And so I really found it hard to find a different approach in covering this matter in order for me to augment the significance of kindness to a person's living.

   Technically, being kind means "of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person". However, this definition only stands with itself because people of today are holding to thoughtlessness and selfish indifference. Brought by modernization, we have been taught indirectly to put ourselves first before others and we would always reason out "survival" everytime we get to be reminded of helping others. Personally, being kind is not just about giving something up for someone. Kindness is also understanding, sensitivity and free of judging. As much as it may sound cliche but being kind can really save the world like the one did by our Savior Jesus Christ when he sacrificed himself for the salvation of man. It awakened us from our nightmare and opened our eyes to God's unconditional love.

   Everyday we wake up and realized it's another day. Another day means another life to live and another chance to live our best. We go through the day with guidance even if we don't see it or feel it. We go to work or school with strength even if sometimes we feel lazy or sick. We get another chance to socialize, be with friends and do things like humans should do. These are the everyday blessings that most of the time we forget to count at the end of the day but then God continues to shower us with blessings even if we tend to be forgetful. It's his kindness that he's showing us.

   I'm only trying to say is try to be a little kinder.

-Titus 3:4

"The kindnesss and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared."

The everyday battle

"God will give us the victory, but we must be willing to fight"

   I might sound a hypocrite if I say I haven't done a few of what's written above but as much as I want to get myself away from committing these misdeeds I find it hard to go against what I feel like I should do. Sometimes because I usually put my personal interest in the front line before anything else, I tend to make actions and then think about what I've done instead of thinking first before I make an action. Just part of an inner conflict that we face every single day.

   Yes or No??? A question that never sounded unfamiliar to anyone. Two answers that can make a better or worse decision in our life. I have made wrong and right decisions in life and I could never be proud of the wrong ones but I know for sure that I've learned something from how I make my decisions. God knows that we face this inner battle everyday, we decide whether to pray or not, to go to church today or just go next week, judge someone by how they look or just shut your mouth, answer back to your parents or hold back and myriad of options laid in front of us and he's also aware of how hard it is to yes when your nature tells you to say no or say no when your nature tells you to say yes.

   At the end of the day, we know to ourselves what right path to take, it just needs a little thinking and a little faith. We are surely to committ mistakes as we go along our way but if we are willing to improve our lives the best way can then nothing or no one can ever stop us from doing what we know is right and doing what is right is the best decision a man could ever make.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Where else can we find the light?

 "To lead others out of the darkness, let them see your light."
-Our daily bread

     I think most of us have been asking ourselves if the world we're living in still have a chance of renewing itself into a place we're dreaming it to become. Probably others have already stopped asking questions about hope and peace. I just feel like, nowadays people have found new things to focus on other than something they're not sure they can achieve. Modernization have molded our minds and changed what we think and how we look at life. We no longer keep ourselves aware of what we can do as an individual for the world rather we keep ourselves updated of the must-haves the material world can give. We choose to go to the path where we can see clearly where we're going instead of the path where its covered with darkness, we call it "practicality" but is it through practicality that we learned how to be strong as a person? Is it through practicality that we learned how to be self-less? Is it through practicality that we learned how to understand others?

     Given all the tragic happenings from different places, poverty, crimes and corruption that slowly eats our hope of having a better place to live, there seems no hope to appear so we'd rather live the way this modern time tell us to live and we do nothing but complain about what we don't like to happen and demand for something we want. Others continue to search to find their happiness and peace and dream to just be away from everything.

     However, we should ask ourselves where else can we find the light we used to look for but here and only here in the place we're standing on. The face of the world has totally changed through the actions and decisions we made ourselves but its also through our actions that we can change it back to what it should've been. The piece of light is within us. If we could just lit that light again then we can show it to others and show them that it's not over yet till its over. Everything good that happens starts with someone. So start now and act. Even the simplest of actions can light up someone.

"You are the light of the world"
Matthew 5:14

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Triumph over tribulation

Triumph over tribulation

By: Morillo, Erwin

    A pleasant day to everyone, it is very often that I get an opportunity such as this to speak in front of you. This moment reminds me of prominent people I’ve witnessed carrying themselves on stage with great confidence and inspiration despite the unpredictable reactions of the public eye. I have seen and heard them speak with conviction and sincerity giving people what they need to feel. So, it is of great honor to stand before you today and contribute something relevant to the society. Ladies and gentlemen, I am just like you. A person who has dreams, a person with great love and care for his family, a person who suffers the cruelty of life and simply, I am just one of all the billion people living their lives as they should with doubt and fear in their hearts. Despite this similarity, I saw myself living a life of mediocrity and I’ve always ended up blaming myself because I can’t do everything. I can’t do things to make myself a better student, writer or a speaker. I was once held on to the fact that I’ll always be at the bottom of the sea, incapable of emerging, drowning myself with fear, doubt, hopelessness and anger. I was surrounded by these negative energy that I found it hard to move forward and continue my life. I’ve demoralized myself because of failure. Always minding what other people have achieved. I was aware that the more I look at them, the more I bring myself down.

     But that was then, because I have sought hope in my life and found inner peace and confidence. I knew at that moment of realization that I have to believe in myself, no matter what life throws me. Because the only person you’ll ever know that will help you prevail challenges in life is yourself and no one else. There will come a time in your life that those people you love and trust won’t be there to give you a hand. You look around and find only yourself to rely on. I know it, because I’ve been there and that’s why I’ve learned to trust myself and I’ve learned to believe in what I can do. I’ve finally accepted my flaws and weaknesses. These weaknesses that we have within us will help us become a stronger and better person as we pursue the long and winding journey of life. You may say that weaknesses remind you of imperfection but I say you don’t have to be perfect to be able to achieve your goal and you may ask again, what does weaknesses have to do with my life. I believe that God created us with weaknesses to teach us to love and trust not only ourselves but other people, teaching us to love others without conditions and exemptions. Most importantly, teaching us to trust him that everything is going to be ok at the end. Let us not look at what other people can do instead believe in what you can do as a person. To be triumphant over tribulations is to learn to believe in you. I am reminded of this simple quote from Napoleon Hill that says a lot, “You can do it if you believe you can”. Your life continues to move forward when you start to believe in yourself.

     Let us not waste time crying over hopelessness for hopelessness is present only if you think it is. I know for sure, that we’ve undergone certain situations in life where we felt like we had no choice but to give everything up because it was hopeless. It was a mistake to conclude that early. It was a mistake to think it was hopeless. It was a mistake to believe that there was nothing you can do for in every life problems has a solution. I remember Martin Luther’s quote saying, “Everything that is done in the world is done by hope”. Let us not be doubtful instead be resilient in every tribulation. Don’t allow tribulations ruin your hope. If you think the burden is too heavy to be carried, don’t give up; don’t let the light of hope be blown off by the cold wind. Instead stop and rest, when you find your inner strength that’s the right time for you to continue sailing forward. How can I say this? I am still young to lecture about triumphs, hope and faith. Let me tell you my dear friends that our everyday life teaches us something important regardless of our age. If we learn to keep them and apply them, we’ll be able to make ourselves equipped with wisdom that others ignore. I have to say, that I am defined by my life and who I am right now is because of what I’ve been through and what I say to you is what I’ve learned from living. At this very moment, I continue living as I should and I may say that whatever is ahead of me, I am prepared to face it. Thank you and God bless everyone.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


     It was one of those activities in school that I was excited about because a speech competition such as this will show not only how a group can deliver a speech wonderfully but also showcases their creativity and talent making even the simplest speech into an amazing speech choir performance. For some, they may say a speech choir is just a bunch of people reciting a piece of poem or story but adding color and spice to what we deliver on stage is just one the things we do to put up a great performance.

     It's actually a competition but I'd rather call it a presentation because I believed that what happened that night was more of giving our all to come up with a good show and I should say it was successful. The preparation was tough as we struggle making time for our ourselves, for our assignments and projects and for the rehearsals. It tested our skill on how will we be able to pull everything together without losing our balance. I really felt the pressure when everyone started to brainstorm about what their piece is going to be, when and where will they practice and the props and costumes they will use. Every group showed enthusiasm to the point where they kept secrets and made sure that the other groups won't find out their plans about their performance. It wasn't an easy road to take for us because aside from the preparation, of course, we have a life to live, chores to do, assignments and projects to finish, exams to get ready for and other things to do that make us human.
This speech choir competition is being held annually headed by the director of our university/professor in Speech Communication. This year the President of BSIT II-I wanted it to be bigger and greater as compared to the past years that had passed. So as the Vice president, I tried to help him out in the planning and preparation. We had to make sure that the venue, the sound system, the chairs, tables and food for the judges, and everything that will help us come up with the best atmosphere for the competition are set and ready to go. We had some mishappenings before the day of the presentation but everything went pretty well as we try not to be stumbled by problems. We also encountered misunderstandings. A type of misunderstanding where it was either we die or we live (not literally). I mean we encountered this situation where we thought what we've worked so hard for will all be worthless at the end of the day. However, everything worked out fine and we all worked together to prevent that from happening.
The videos you will watch below were a few of the performers in the Speech Choir Presentation 2009. The performers you're about to witness are my talented classmates.
"Like the Molave" is a piece which gives hope to every Filipino. Telling the people to have the characteristics of the "Molave". Be staunch, resilient and firm in every obstacle along the way. The performers of this piece had shown that good will always win over evil no matter what and even if there's darkness in our every day lives, always remember that even if the sun falls it always rises to brighten up the horizon.
"Peace Not War" is a prominent composition obviously advocating PEACE. It's very inspiring as you read every word and every line of the composition. You could really feel the sincere emotion of the writer. The performers had shown a dramatic interpretation of the piece and successfully conveyed the real message of "Peace Not War".
"REVERSE CREATION", the performers gave me goosebumps as they deliver their hair-raising introduction. I think everyone really paid attention to this piece because of the performers way of delivering it. Just watch and find out.
"The Musical Story" is a fun and entertaining story about four talented musicians. These performers are the champion in the Speech Choir Competition. They wowed the panel of judges as they hit every note and deliver every word from their piece wonderfully. I myself enjoyed as I watch them perform.

PS: I am aware that a lot of you guys are asking for the copy of some of the speech choir pieces. I'm sorry to say but I don't have the copy of most of the pieces. I understand that most of you want to have a copy of PEACE NOT WAR which I don't have. However, I'll try my best to ask my former classmates and see if they still have a copy of it but as of now I don't have it yet. I'm sorry again.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

A letter from the hopeless romantic

Hey, it's me, erwin. It's not actually necessary to tell you this but I'll say it anyway just to let you know that I'm writing this for you. We go to the same school and we see each other everyday. How are you doing? Well if you care to ask me, I'm doing fine. I have a new and improved set of rules to follow for my better performance in school. You know what I mean, I just want to go beyond what I did from the last two semesters I finished. How about you? I hope you're doing fine in your studies too. We both know how important education is so I'm pretty sure you're working your back off as well. As much as I feel like we're close enough to know more about each other but I think our worlds our sort of apart though. What I mean is that you have your owns set of friends and I have mine as well. Actually, I always get apprehensive when I want to talk to you. Why? Well, probably because I think you really don't talk a lot and I feel like you'd rather stay in the corner and be silent all day rather than converse to a person like me. I remember that one time when I pretended that I'm going to ask you something but actually I just wanted to hear you speak. I was running to catch up with you while thinking of the words to say and when I had that chance, I talked to you. haha. I actually wasn't paying attention to what you're saying but I didn't really want to stare at your face for too long that you would've noticed my true intention. I apologize to what I did. Anyway, I hope this won't sound awkward or anything but I want to ask you something??? Is it ok??? Well, I hope it is. I don't mean anything with this question, ok? I'm just trying to figure out something. Ok, so "Have you fallen in love with someone already?" Someone that attracted you the first time you saw that person. That very person who stood out among all the people flooding your eyes. When your eyes finally meet, you just don't want to keep your eyes off of that person already. Your mind started to paint pictures of that person as you turn your back and walk away. You suddenly realized that those paintings can't be thrown because it's stuck in your head. You're brain started to ache because of the too much thinking. Even if you're on your way home you still think about that very moment just both of you under the spotlight. Well, I hope this isn't too much for me too ask but I just want you to know that I just felt that recently. It was actually unexpected because I was living my life the way I think I should but then you came to my life and suddenly everything seemed to turn up side down. I don't really care about the "love thingy" before because I believe that time will tell me when to fall in love and I just thought that now is too early. I guess you know where this is going. I don't really have that courage to tell you how I feel about you so I just thought to put it in words. I don't even know when is the right time for me to confess my feelings to you personally but I'm really hoping I can do it soon before its too late. You know what??? I'm even contemplating about giving you this letter right after telling you about my feelings, maybe just to get you the idea of how shy I was to talk to you. To be honest, I'm scared. I've heard that a lot of people have gone crazy because they've allowed themselves to fall in love but they failed. After everything they've been through just to keep the love alive, what they're going to get back is their heart broken into pieces and not to mention those people who desperately needed to love someone but all the expectations they have from that special person were all wrong. Little did they know they were just blinded by the emotions they had in the first place. At this point in time, I don't know where I belong. I mean, I have to get hurt to know if I were like those people who passionately loved someone but didn't get anything back or those people who expected a lot but just got blindfolded at the end of the day. I like what I'm feeling right now but I'm clueless where its going to take me and that's what I'm afraid of. It's like driving your favorite car on the road but your eyes are covered. Maybe that's why I still can't find audacity to tell you face to face about the words of my heart. Maybe my heart is just playing around, probably one of the effects of haven't really loved someone at all my entire life or maybe it was brought by hopelessness. I'm not sure. I'm still thinking about it but as for now I am thankful. I am thankful because I never really felt something like this my whole life and it's helping me to sail through my life. I'm just praying that what I feel is right. That I've found the love of my life. As for now, I'll keep the hope alive until I find the answer to my question, "Is this really love because if it isn't then what should I call it???" See you. I hope that time will come that I'll be able to hold on to my guts and tell what I truly feel but I think its too early to admit so I'll try to conceal it for as long as I can till I find the right time for me to speak it all out. God bless you always and take care.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The "Reality" of reality TV shows Part II

I have been planning to write reviews about reality shows on TV and I have been saving my comments about each one I have in mind. There are existing shows that most may have gotten our vote to watch it and some that are not persuasive enough to capture our eyes. I am well aware that we all have different assesments relative to reality tv shows and our opinion differs from one another. Having said that, I might as well share my personal reviews about the shows I've seen so far and I have to say that I am not liking what I have seen in the long run. There are a few shows that show nothing but "DISRESPECT", there are some that inspire people and others are so exciting that I don't want to miss a single episode. Let me clear this one out for the last time that we should all respect each others opinion regarding this particular issue that I am writing about. If you disagree with my sentiments then you may drop your comment with utmost respect in mind and I am free to accept all of it.

This show could've have been the very first dating show that I find appealing but unfortunately it's number 1 in my "hate list". Let's start with the positive, the concept of giving the parents a chance to find the perfect partner for their son or daughter is a unique idea and it shows how important their sons and daughters are to them. The parents control is limited which is good. The only right they have when they're on the show is to select among the hopefuls the best that they believe is the right person for their son/daughter. The power of the parents end there once they're done picking their choice. Still, the power to make the final decision at the end of the show is their son/daughter. It's either they stay with his/her current relationship or replace him/her with the other one. I find this concept good enough for a dating show. The parents and the current partner sits on the couch together as they watch the aspirants prove that they deserve to kick the present partner out of the relationship. Sounds really exciting reading the process. So why do I hate this show so much??? This dating show utterly "disrespects". I was able to write down one of the conversations between the parents and the present partner while they're in the couch watching. This is not the real flow of the argument. I have just written down the statements that I found offensive.

Parent: "Your partying day is over"
Current partner: "You wish you were young again"

Parent: "I can see the fear in your face"
Current partner: "I can see how old you are"

Current partner: (insulted the hair of the contestant)
Parent: (The father disagreed and found the hair beautiful)
Current partner: "It's because you don't have one"

Current Partner: "SHUT UP!"

Parent: (Asked about "being ready" or something)
Current partner: "I'm ready for you to shut the hell up"

Parent: "Do you know where New Zealand is?"
Current partner: "Yeah, It's right next to 'old zealand' "

So, what do you say? They say MTV's Parental Control is scripted and I believe so too because of the sound and the way they converse with each other. However, scripted or not, still shows offense and disrespect right?? I mean you don't talk to parents like that. Even if you know they want you replaced still you don't have the right to cross the line. I'm sure the parents agreed to be disrespected in the show because if they don't want to then they shouldn't have joined the show in the first place. If the reason of the creators is just to add spice or to make the show more exciting then it's not working for me. Disrespecting is not exciting especially if you're disrespecting the people you also have in your life that carried you and raised you to become who you are right now. The words are too much.


Friday, June 12, 2009

The "REALITY" of reality shows

The entertainment industry gave birth to the early reality tv shows during the time of 1940-1950 one of which was Allen Funt's show Candid Camera which I guess the very first time people started to laugh in front of their TVs while sitting comfortably on the couch. It showcased ordinary people reacting to pranks which reflected the types of hilarious shows being flashed on our televisions nowadays. The evolution started as the entertainment people played with their creative ideas initiating the breadth of the entertainment tv as we can now classify as the talent, adventure, game, dating and comedy shows when we speak of reality tv. In the year 2000, the global society began to get hooked with the notable reality series on TV, "Survivor" and "American Idol" not to mention the other big names such as "Fear Factor", "Amazing Race", "America's Next Top Model", "Dancing with the stars", "Big Brother", "Project Runway", "Simple Life", "Wife Swap" and the "The Biggest Loser". I don't have the luxury of time to enumerate the others but needless to say a lot has been created already which some continues to battle each other to be the number one not to mention cooking shows such as "Top Chef", "Hell's Kitchen" and "Kitchen Nightmares" and dating shows such as "Parental Control", "Date my mom", "The Fith Wheel", "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" to name a few which perhaps made it to your own list of favorites and game shows like the "Price is right", "Deal or no deal", "Are you smarter than a 5th grader" and a lot more. Honestly, I myself got interested to watch my personal handpicked shows as well that I even asked myself who labelled tv as an idiot box. A lot of these have easily made their way to be part of our lives because of the downright entertainment they lay down on the table. We want something to look forward to after work or school. We want to laugh at something, we want to vote for someone to win, we want to see someone go and we want to be excited at what's going to happen next. It kills us when we miss a single episode. I understand because I am nearly like you. Actually, we fully-embraced these kinds of shows that the industry continues to put up a bigger foundation to support them, too much amplification that even the young age group gets in the craze as well. On the contrary, as the progression continues my mind is already setting reasons why TV is also called an "idiot box" and I see the reasons everytime I turn on the tv. According to, reality shows are the top choice of children to watch and among the top 20 shows watched by the nation's youth, only seven were the usual scripted series. So what if these children are fond of watching reality shows?, you may ask. You know for a fact that what they see is what they do and one way of leading a child to the wrong road is to string along with them in watching influential shows that can turn them into a person you don't want them to be as they grow up. You might be asking, "Are you reading what you're writing?", yes I am. I know what I'm writing and yes I patronize most reality shows but it's not about me and it's not about you, it's all about the preys out there who are not well educated about what they see on TV. If they're not well educated, we can conclude that they might not be well-guided as well. I'm not blaming you parents and I'm not telling you what to do with your children but you know to yourself what's the right thing to do. I don't have to remind you of what you should do. Now you see my point, "reality show over-load". It's too much for the taking as far as the youth is concerned. I'm not even sure if the world is concerned about what I'm saying right now. I mean, the world continues to produce controlling materials, most adults tolerate and the ones suffering are those who don't even know what they're into, plus, technology keeps the ball rolling in advancement that shortens the bridge connecting the young minds to the cliff. In other words, everything is mostly accessible, now that we have the "Information super-highway" we can take ourselves wherever we want to go. I don't want to degrade the industry that continues to provide entertainment, what I want to point out are the effects of these materials to the young people who will grow up as adults like you and will take over the places of our leaders of today. Imagine what the future will be like, if these children continue to be poisoned and be surrounded by bad influences. It isn't difficult to see the future, right?

The video posted above is a song performed by simple plan entitled "Crazy" which adds to my explanation about the issue I just wrote about. Take time to watch the video if you haven't seen it and listen to the lyrics of the song. In the part two of this blog, I will give reviews about those reality shows that might have inspired people of any age group and those shows that mostly do nothing but poison the mind of the youth.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Blast from the Past

Cleaning all the clutter in my room was one tiring duty I had to go through that one rainy day. I remember when I was still living my childhood days, I usually answer back to my mom in my mind when she always has to remind me of maintaining the tidiness of my room. I guess, I just get pist off most of the time because of the repetitive things they say about what I should do with my life. It’s not that I ignored them all those times, although I did sometimes but at the end of the day I usually get what they’re trying to tell me. It doesn’t really sink in to me in an instant, it takes time. I didn’t get the importance of cleanliness that time. I think making one big mess was fun and all for me but of course I’m a grown up now. Everything changes as we go along living our lives. I don’t have that childish attitude anymore of getting back at my parents through my thoughts just to escape one hell of a punishment. Ok, let’s be honest here, I still do it ok. However, a one big “HOWEVER”, it’s not my usual way of reacting anymore towards instructions or teachings my parents had to shove on my face unlike the person I was way back then. I have understanding and self-control that took so long before I got a hang of it. Anyway, before my story gets scrambled up, let’s go back to my cleaning-the -clutter-mission I was tasked to do. I was told about the changes I had to make and the instruction I got is quite clear, “Clean that place up so people who come here can call it a room, not a basement”. I just couldn’t believe I was sleeping in one chaotic basement. If you got my point, you won’t really believe that my parents let me sleep in a basement. If they have regrets of having me then maybe they would do so, hahaha. It just looked like a basement because it was quite a mess but don’t be that disgusted, please. It wasn’t that dirty, really. Things were just disordered that’s all. Well, that quoted statement I told you before wasn’t directly given to me by my mom but when I was told to unclutter my place that sentence just came out of nowhere. I guess that’s how my mind interpreted my mom’s instructions. I was thinking, if my room has a life, it would probably utter the same statement to me. So, I started dusting the floor, the table and the closet. It was a piece of cake to clean those things but I really had a hard time tidying the clutter inside my closet. A closet that’s supposed to serve as a place for things to be kept when not in use but if you were able to look at it, the closet turned out to be a one big trash bag. I found old books, unused notebooks, old issues of reader’s digest and some were just garbage. I just had a punch of reality telling me that it’s going to be one long and tiring day. Nevertheless, it wasn’t just a simple “taking-the-trash-out” process. I never anticipated to get a free ride to go back in the past by doing something I don’t really want to spend my time to.
I just didn’t expect to find things in that closet that would remind me of how colorful and fun my life was. Those things have been covered by dark for years as if it weren’t a fragment of my life. It was kept in the corner as if it didn’t help me become who I am right now. The dust were all present as I reminisce those up and down times that made me laugh, cry and simply smile. First, the photographs of my childhood. The cuteness I had just disappeared as I grow up and I don’t have any idea how and why. Anyway, looking at these photos reminded me of how big my head looked big in pictures when I was a child which I didn’t notice until I had the eyes of criticism. Despite of all those flaws what I liked the most about those pictures that even though we struggled in life I was still able to have fun and be a child even for a few times. My favorite picture is when I was playing street fighter in an arcade center. I just like fighting games until now and street fighter was one of those games that made me want to stay in the mall forever. I didn’t quite got the controls of an arcade though, so I just press buttons and make the character move. Sometimes I just felt like time was really short when I play arcade until I figured out the real reason why. I get lost all the time. I realized that time when somebody explained to me that in order to play longer you have to win the game. I remember now, I wasn’t able to win a game even in the first round.
The costume I wore when I portrayed St. Joseph. I found it inside a dusty plastic. I took it out and I was just nostalgic as I felt its texture. I played the role of St. Joseph when I was in grade school when we had a christmas program which was a school-wide activity. We had a parade with all the other characters of the bible outside the school. I was with my classmate michelle, a very pretty girl, who portrayed Mama Mary. The costume I wore was too long for my size so I was struggling to walk straight and I kept looking on the ground because I continued to step on the garment I was wearing. I tell you, I was so uncomfortable the entire time. Even when we were doing the play already, I was still so worried about the costume because I might slip, fall on the ground and have the record of the most embarrassing moment of my life in front of my teachers, classmates and schoolmates, and parents. Worst it will ruin the duration of the play. I was still so young to face harsh critcisms from the crowd, no wonder I was getting more nervous as I go on with the presentation. Generally, I had fun knowing that I “broke a leg” and finished the play with no shameless situations to write on my journal. As I keep the costume back to where it belongs, I just kept wearing a smile. Now I know where I developed my self-confidence in facing people. It started from a play that made me uncomfortable the whole time but still ending it with a sweet success.
The all-white costume as Don Juan. I don’t know what to say to this costume. I took the robe and relived the Don Juan moment I had that time and I just laughed at myself. I don’t know what I was thinking why I decided to choose white as the color of the whole costume. haha. Maybe I thought, white really represented the personality of Don Juan as a son and a brother. I over-represented Don Juan’s personality if ever there’s a word as that. Well, I had good memories to keep with this costume. This helped me won my very first acting award. I was the Best Supporting Actor. I never thought I had a niche in acting. I wanted singing though over acting. The classroom paper. We decided to make a classroom paper for us to keep the sweet and sour memories my classmates and I shared together for our three-year stay in high school. We were in Third Year high school when we thought of coming up with one. Most of us submitted articles about their journey as a high school student, their life with friends and classmates and we didn’t forget the teachers we had that helped us grow as a responsible and wise man of the society. It was this paper’s fault why I had to stay late one night just to finish a poem. I’m not really used to making poems but I had to make one for the literary page of the paper. Thank God, it went out pretty well and it rhymed!!
Austral Asian Debate Module.The module is old already. This paper seem not to show significance but it really became part of my learning as a debater in high school. I studied the module, I got interested by it and through it I was able to experience the war of words. We were three debaters on the same team competing against other schools. It was one of the most knee-shaking, brain-twisting, pants-peeing competion I’ve joined in high school. The school always lets me compete in speaking competitions other than writing competitions which for me always forced me to pee my pants due to the pressure I was feeling. Over-all, it was fun and even if we didn’t make it to the finals, the most important thing is we defeated one team at least we didn’t go home not winning a round, right?. It will be more bitter if we didn’t make it through the eliminations.
These were only a few of the things that gave me a fun ride back to the past. We tend to say that we should forget those things that had occurred in the past because what we should be mindful of is the present time. Well, it actually depends. There were those happenings that we should get back at and remind ourselves how strong we became in the battle of life, it will remind us how stupid we were why we made that decision but even though we ended up suffering the consequences we still remain proud of ourselves because we were strong and confident to face the challenge that we called. We will be able to remember those times that we wanted to give up and those times that we were just so inspired to live life. We will recall those people who became part of our personal development as a person. Those people who taught us to fight and forgive. I just can’t stop mentioning those moments that helped me become who I am right now. And after looking back, I am happier than ever. Just happy.

A Cool Change

Why are you mad when you don’t get what you want?
Hide yourself in a blanket and cry at night
Rumple good words and dispatch them too
Step on someone’s heart that’s what you do
Sparkling little toys gratify you
But you’re a blind man to see what others do
An easy-going person that’s what I see
Play games with destiny you will always be
Change is there waiting for you
Don’t let it loose ’coz you’ll regret it soon
Change is cool, but if you think not, you’re a fool
So better think deep and twice and use your mind’s tool
To see what you’ve become and who you are now
Slap yourself and know how
How to put the pieces back and make them frown
Before you fall to the sea, suffer and drown
I hope you’ve learned something from this
Though it’s short, but it has a kiss
A kiss of care to show my love
A love that’s clean and as white as a dove

This was who I am, Maybe who you were

As I was reading articles from other writers of the, it suddenly hit me with a realization that being real with your words or what you say affect the understanding and appreciation of people reading the piece you made. I found a lot of articles with sincere emotions, I don’t know if it’s because they’re just great at what they do that they have the ability to create sentences that portray heartfelt and genuine emotions. I remember the former me. The person I was when I was inhabiting a world I made myself. I deceived myself into a world where it tells me that I have to be perfect in what I do. WRITING. I was brought under control by an unknown force. I had to be right on the spot in creating my sentences and make sure that the words I’m going to use will make the readers say wow. However, it really didn’t make any positive note for me as I continue to live blindly in this world that I created myself. If you’ll be reading the articles I’ve made so far from the time I became part of my high school’s publication till now, your socks wouldn’t be knocked off by that, I mean it wasn’t great enough for people to read it. And I wanted people to appreciate the things I do in life especially this one thing that I know I can do best and its writing. I was living in torture and distress, I tell you. In other words,
I was beating myself out just by telling myself that I’m not good enough for people to complement me. I was pushing so hard not minding the fact that every human has limits of their own. Even Manny Pacquiao finds time to rest and have peace but despite of this fact, I still continue to be hard-headed as I knew I was.
Have I gotten myself out of my own creation???
Am I still living in fantasy???
It was then. It was part of my buried past. I learned that I just have to be natural in everything I do. Another way of saying it, is I should be real. I should be true to who I am as a person and swallow the fact that I am one of the billions who commit mistakes in what I do. Another thing I’ve learned from my attitude back then when I was still so hungry of complements is the fact that 9 out of 10 people won’t utter a word of complement about you or what you do. It just shows that life will continue to beat you up whether you had enough or not. I was craving for people to say how good I was and how I made their day. However, I knew already that I was more than a fool to ask for lots of complements. I mean, every single one of us has the tendency to be mean or rude at any situation even myself. Some of us prefer to be honest and straightforward and tell the person what we think of them or what we think of what they’ve done. So, I knew that there will always be someone who won’t like me as a person or me as a writer but I believe some have good intentions in saying mean things and others have no reasons whatsoever to do such act but either way I know that there is always something to learn from the every experience that I am undergoing. I didn’t say that it won’t hurt. Sometimes it will hurt so bad that you just want take away your own life for good. It is a matter of being strong and open-minded to the people around you and the environment you are living in.
In my case, writing. I may not be the best producer of quality blog for people to like me. I may not be the most good-looking person ever created in history or I may not be the most talented person you can ever know. I may not be the best cook but I am proud that I love myself. I am proud that even if am not that good in writing, still I continue doing it. I am proud that I love complementing people who are better than me and I am proud that I get to have fun and enjoy life even if I know that there will always be someone way more talented than me. I believe that it’s not about being a better person in terms of what you do but but being a better person by being who you are, being real and living the fullest of life by not being insecure and jealous of what other people can do. Being a better person by being glad of other people’s accomplishment.
Now that I have learned a lot in this travel of mine, I am now writing anything I want without over-thinking of what I should write. I write what my mind and my heart want to say without basing it from what people may like but by looking at what I want to express as a writer. Hayyyy, I just can’t describe the feeling of self-fulfillment and self-realization gives. I am glad that I was able to be who I want to be right now and was able to forget that person I was in the past.
Now, I continue my travel on the road of life while anticipating twists and turns along the way;most especially sweet success at the end of my destined path.

Lessons of the Lenten Season

It started last week when people started to get serious again because of the lenten season. In some parts of the country some were able to numb themselves while nailed on the cross because they believe it’s their way of asking forgiveness from god, while others who are not brave enough stick to the usual of not eating meat throughout the holy week. Most people prayed and reflected. Personally, what I did during the holy week is just I read the bible and prayed. It doesn’t sound to be a sacrifice or anything, right??? Because I believe that you don’t have to think of something that can be hurtful to your body for forgiveness but I’m not saying I’m against those people who are physically hurting themselves, I respect your personal way of sacrifice. I have a question, does jesus want us to physically harm ourselves just to prove that we are sorry for our sins? or is it necessary to do it just to show that we are sincere in paying respect to the sacrifice Jesus made for us? Basically, Jesus knows if our actions come sincerely from the heart or not, whether we involve ourselves with physical sacrifices or we pray silently in a room. Well what I’m just trying to say is that we don’t have to get ourselves to agonizing activities just to show other people that we are sacrificing for God and we don’t have to show it to other people in the first place anyway. Come to think of it, Jesus wants sincere action coming from us like loving one another. That’s the greatest commandment. Or we should pray more often and meditate, right? Simple sacrifices such as not eating meat and many more will do for as long as its coming from the heart. Like what I’ve said before Jesus knows what’s inside the very depth of our hearts and there’s nothing to hide.

The greatest thing about the lenten season is we get to drive ourselves back to where it all started, where Jesus was being hit not just physically but verbally as well. I know a lot of you have seen the movie ”Passion of the Christ” where it showed the dramatic persecution of christ. People back then where stupid enough not to know that Jesus was the saviour of mankind and they were the ones who decided to nail Jesus on the cross but anyway enough of the blaming, at least I assume at this point in time the are aware already. As I was saying, the lenten season has been coming around a million times and I hope people are learning something as this tradition goes on. Well, I personally made my own “LESSONS OF THE LENTEN SEASON”. These are the lessons which I think we all should keep in our lives because its not merely sacrificing something for Jesus but for me there are lot sa lot sa reasons.

I know we are all aware about why Jesus sacrificed but I think most of us don’t care about it. Yeah it’s a fact that Jesus underwent all the suffering he needed to go through just to save us all from sin but the modern life we are living now keeps us away from empathizing Jesus. As far as I can see, we don’t put ourselves to his position to really understand what he’s up to why he did it. Well because he loves us very much. And most of you ignore it and I don’t know the reason why. We don’t care maybe because you want to see Jesus yourselves or you haven’t really gotten to yourself wherein you truly believe him and you’re still in the middle of studying or deciding whom or what to believe??? How do we ignore it??? Well one of which is by simply sticking to much with what the world is offering. We are so materialistic that we don’t care about Jesus and worst we don’t even care to anybody else around us. We ignore if we hurt somebody else’s feelings by our words, we lie, we cheat, we fight..etc.. These things are depriving us from being closer to God and I don’t know if you are aware of that or you are just pretending. Well, God gave you the gift of free will to decide your own life. These decisions will either make you or break you.
Well one of the good traits everybody lacks is being respectful to one another regardless of age and position in the society. This lenten season measures how much we respect those who are let’s say have a different view of sacrificing or repenting. Like what I’ve mentioned before, those who are nailing themselves on the cross. I told you that I don’t agree with that kind of activity but I didn’t curse them or told them to stop. I just voiced out my opinion about it but I sincerely respect their way of sacrificing. As we all know we are all different in many colorful ways, and we should respect it.
Since the lenten season reminds us of the sufferings of Christ, it sort of give a mirror and shows us how far we are in life with God. It reminds us of how many times we have put the lesson of Jesus in our lives or how many times we did good for other people. Personally, it is a starting point for us because looking back at Jesus situation it was the end of his life but it was a starting point for him because its another life after three days. As for us, the lenten season might cover us with sadness and sorrow but on the day of resurrection tells us to resurrect ourselves as well and move on with life in a more positive outlook with God.
And the last lesson is simply to be closer with God. I think I don’t have to elaborate it anymore, just by reading the phrase tells you what it wants to say.