This was who I am, Maybe who you were

As I was reading articles from other writers of the filipinowriter.com, it suddenly hit me with a realization that being real with your words or what you say affect the understanding and appreciation of people reading the piece you made. I found a lot of articles with sincere emotions, I don’t know if it’s because they’re just great at what they do that they have the ability to create sentences that portray heartfelt and genuine emotions. I remember the former me. The person I was when I was inhabiting a world I made myself. I deceived myself into a world where it tells me that I have to be perfect in what I do. WRITING. I was brought under control by an unknown force. I had to be right on the spot in creating my sentences and make sure that the words I’m going to use will make the readers say wow. However, it really didn’t make any positive note for me as I continue to live blindly in this world that I created myself. If you’ll be reading the articles I’ve made so far from the time I became part of my high school’s publication till now, your socks wouldn’t be knocked off by that, I mean it wasn’t great enough for people to read it. And I wanted people to appreciate the things I do in life especially this one thing that I know I can do best and its writing. I was living in torture and distress, I tell you. In other words,

I was beating myself out just by telling myself that I’m not good enough for people to complement me. I was pushing so hard not minding the fact that every human has limits of their own. Even Manny Pacquiao finds time to rest and have peace but despite of this fact, I still continue to be hard-headed as I knew I was.

Have I gotten myself out of my own creation???
Am I still living in fantasy???

It was then. It was part of my buried past. I learned that I just have to be natural in everything I do. Another way of saying it, is I should be real. I should be true to who I am as a person and swallow the fact that I am one of the billions who commit mistakes in what I do. Another thing I’ve learned from my attitude back then when I was still so hungry of complements is the fact that 9 out of 10 people won’t utter a word of complement about you or what you do. It just shows that life will continue to beat you up whether you had enough or not. I was craving for people to say how good I was and how I made their day. However, I knew already that I was more than a fool to ask for lots of complements. I mean, every single one of us has the tendency to be mean or rude at any situation even myself. Some of us prefer to be honest and straightforward and tell the person what we think of them or what we think of what they’ve done. So, I knew that there will always be someone who won’t like me as a person or me as a writer but I believe some have good intentions in saying mean things and others have no reasons whatsoever to do such act but either way I know that there is always something to learn from the every experience that I am undergoing. I didn’t say that it won’t hurt. Sometimes it will hurt so bad that you just want take away your own life for good. It is a matter of being strong and open-minded to the people around you and the environment you are living in.

In my case, writing. I may not be the best producer of quality blog for people to like me. I may not be the most good-looking person ever created in history or I may not be the most talented person you can ever know. I may not be the best cook but I am proud that I love myself. I am proud that even if am not that good in writing, still I continue doing it. I am proud that I love complementing people who are better than me and I am proud that I get to have fun and enjoy life even if I know that there will always be someone way more talented than me. I believe that it’s not about being a better person in terms of what you do but but being a better person by being who you are, being real and living the fullest of life by not being insecure and jealous of what other people can do. Being a better person by being glad of other people’s accomplishment.

Now that I have learned a lot in this travel of mine, I am now writing anything I want without over-thinking of what I should write. I write what my mind and my heart want to say without basing it from what people may like but by looking at what I want to express as a writer. Hayyyy, I just can’t describe the feeling of self-fulfillment and self-realization gives. I am glad that I was able to be who I want to be right now and was able to forget that person I was in the past.

Now, I continue my travel on the road of life while anticipating twists and turns along the way;most especially sweet success at the end of my destined path.